


Empathy

by bucknastybarnes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky - Freeform, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Bucky Barnes Angst, Bucky Barnes Fluff, Bucky Barnes one-shot, Bucky Barnes oneshot, Bucky Imagine, Bucky barnes x reader - Freeform, Bucky oneshot, Bucky x Reader, Bucky x You - Freeform, Captain America - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, James Buchanan Barnes - Freeform, Marvel - Freeform, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, bucky barnes fanfiction, bucky barnes imagine, bucky barnes series, bucky barnes x you - Freeform, bucky fic - Freeform, bucky one-shot, marvel writing, mcu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 16:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20763329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucknastybarnes/pseuds/bucknastybarnes
Summary: this is a little prologue to a Bucky series that I am starting, just to give some background on the reader and a glimpse of one of her first conversations with Bucky. I don’t know exactly where I’m going with this series exactly but it will likely follow the civil war → infinity war → endgame timeline, generally.this takes place right after civil war, with Bucky going to Wakanda. the reader stays to help with his healing process.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this will EVENTUALLY be a series- it's kinda on hiatus right now. follow me on tumblr @ bucknasty-barnes!

8 days ago

At the time, you didn’t fully understand what had compelled you to stop in your tracks just mere feet away from the jet that you were supposed to be departing on momentarily. It was as if an otherworldly force of nature had taken control of your movements and your actions were no longer your own.

You were supposed to be leaving with Steve. You knew the two of you shouldn’t stay here, you needed to keep moving. You knew that Bucky was in good care with Shuri, and that her and her team would keep you updated on his treatment. You knew that the medical advancements and technology available in Wakanda were of more value to Bucky’s recovery than your simple empathetic abilities could ever be. You knew that the desire to stay for a man that you had never spoken to before yesterday was irrational.

You knew all of this, but it didn’t matter. In that moment, the only thing going through your mind was all of the pain that radiated through every fiber of your being the first time you had touched his hand on the flight after the battle at the airport.

You hadn’t intended to intrude in his mind. You had always made it a point to have someone’s explicit consent before touching them with the intent to become aware of or to alter their emotions, even if it was to help them.

So when he said the words “I don’t know if I am worth all of this, Steve,” you only meant to grab his hand in reassurance but any sentiments of comfort left your thoughts as soon as your skin made contact with his. Without even attempting to let his emotions in as you had to with everyone else, you were immediately overcome with a feeling that could be best described as anguish- a feeling that has yet to leave your body since the moment you first touched him. You were so stunned that you let out an audible gasp, quickly jerking your hand from his.

Bucky’s eyes went wide with both fear and confusion at what had just happened. Steve had turned from where he was controlling the jet and looked back and forth between the two of you.

“I’m- I’m so sorry-“ you attempted to stutter out. “I didn’t mean to, I was just-“

“What happened?” Bucky’s voice was barely above a whisper and his metal hand went to rub where you had touched his flesh.

“I felt your emotions.. but I didn’t mean to, normally I have to actively try to feel what someone else is feeling but for some reason when I touched your hand I just felt everything-“ the words poured out of your mouth like vomit but you stopped when you saw the confusion on Bucky’s features was only becoming more evident.

Oh yeah, you thought. This man has only known you for a matter of hours. He doesn’t know you’re a freak. Good going. He would have just continued to assume you were helping Steve out because you’re a badass fighter but no, you had to-

Thankfully, Steve pieced together what had happened and knowing that you would only worsen the situation by trying to explain, he interrupted your internal monologue.

“She's an empath,” Steve stated simply, turning his attention back to the controls of the jet.

Bucky continued to stare at the back of Steve’s head as if he had told him that you were a vampire. After fiddling with a few buttons to switch the jet to auto-pilot, he turned back around in his seat to face you both.

“She can feel every emotion that someone has ever felt with just the touch of her hand. She also has some limited control over people’s feelings. By touching them, she can create temporary feelings of peace by taking on that person’s emotions as her own.”

“It’s not all sunshine and daisies. Just as easily as I can create the illusion of pleasure, I can create the illusion of pain,” You saw a flicker of fear shoot through his eyes that made you add, “Don’t worry, I’ve never voluntarily elected to inflict pain on someone. When absolutely necessary, I will cause someone to feel extremely sleepy. Make 'em pass out.”

He took a moment before responding, processing the information he had learned.

“Can you.. hear people’s thoughts?”

“Yes," you deadpanned. “I’ve heard every nasty thought you’ve had about my tits for the last hour.”

His eyes widened in shocked horror as a vibrant shade of fuchsia radiated across his cheeks. You tried to ignore that you could physically feel his embarrassment wash over you.

“Jesus, Y/N. Go easy on him,” Steve tried to sound serious but you could tell he was struggling to retain a laugh,

“I’m just yanking your chain," you reassured him. “I can’t hear anyone’s thoughts. Telepaths hear thoughts, empaths feel emotions.” At this, you felt him relax.

“And how did you become an.. empath?”

Your body involuntarily became rigid at the question. “As you know, you’re not the only victim of Hydra. I was one of their failures.”

As you spoke the words, you felt a wave of nausea overcome your body and you struggled to tell if it was because the thought made you or him sick.

The rest of the flight passed by in an uneasy silence. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t block Bucky’s emotions from intruding in your mind.

Guilt. Despair. Regret. Self-loathing. Loneliness. Anxiety. Shame. Embarrassment. Fear.

Your heart broke for him more with every second.

Before you could chicken out, you turned to him, looking him directly in his bright but sad eyes.

“Do you trust me?” Despite only having known you for a few hours, despite having not trusted anyone in decades, he didn’t hesitate before nodding, albeit with an apprehensive expression.

You reached both of your hands out towards him, allowing him to initiate contact this time. His hands joined yours and you closed your eyes, focusing all of your energy solely on the transference of any positive emotion you could muster.

Jumping into a pool for the first time in the summer. A bubble bath after a rough mission. Ice cold water when you’re extremely thirsty. A nap that lasts so long you forget what day it is. That one song that never gets old. How excited a dog gets when they see you after being apart for just a few hours. Sunshine after days of rain. Kissing someone after months of thinking about kissing them.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you finally decided to open your eyes to find that Bucky had closed his and a small, peaceful smile had spread across his tired face.

Knowing that you could alleviate his pain for even a minute to make him smile was enough to make you stay.


	2. Empathy [2/?]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know shit about brains! I’m very sorry if any of this is just.. completely factually inaccurate. I apologize. I should have done more research. also, I easily could have continued this part with the beginning of the actual treatment but I wanted to get it posted ASAP so that will begin in the next part!  
Bucky wakes from the cryo to begin his treatment in Wakanda.

Today

You didn’t think that you would ever get used to the scorching heat of the Wakandan sun. You had been here for a little over a week now, and still every time you walked onto the balcony of the luxurious suite that T’Challa had generously provided for you, you felt as though you had entered an oven. You had grown accustomed to the relatively temperate climate of New York over the last few years and this was quite the opposite. Leaning against the railing of the balcony, you sipped your coffee and tried to remind yourself that while this change was big for you, it would be even more drastic for Bucky when he woke up. With a name like the Winter Soldier, you couldn’t imagine that he had spent a lot of time lying around on beaches and soaking up the sun in the last 70 years. You hoped that after spending as much time as necessary receiving treatment in Wakanda, he would be able to do those things, and all of the other things that he had been robbed of by Hydra after falling from the train all those years ago.

Entranced in your thoughts and preoccupied with picking at the cuticles of your fingernails- a nervous habit that had been developing over the course of the last few days- you failed to notice that Shuri had entered your living quarters.

“Miss Y/N,” she curtsied in front of you and you rolled your eyes dramatically.

“Shuri! How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t have to bow to me? You’re the princess here.”

She chuckled and gave you the same reasoning she had multiple times now. “You are our guests. We only want you to feel welcome here." she smiled and then continued, “I’m sorry to have intruded. I knocked, but there was no answer.”

You offered an apologetic smile before explaining, “I’m sorry. I was just lost in my own thoughts. Today is a big day.”

“It is,” she agreed. “The neurosurgeon from London, Dr. McCloud, arrived late last night. She is ready to begin Mr. Barnes’ treatment, if you are.”

“Yes, of course. I’ll get dressed and be down to your lab in a few moments." she smiled, and turned to exit the room.

You quickly threw on the outfit which you had been wearing for the last week. The only clothes you had were the tactical suit you had been wearing upon arriving in Wakanda and a pair of jeans and tight plain white t-shirt that you had happened to leave on the jet during a particularly long mission a few months prior.

You had money, you easily could have gone into the city to buy yourself some clothing at this point, but every waking hour of yours had been spent researching memory loss and identity disorders associated with trauma, in hopes of understanding what was going on in Bucky’s mind. If you took a break from that, it was only to utilize the technology in Shuri’s lab to create prototypes of potential prosthetic arms for Bucky. You had designed several that would work just fine, but you wanted to make sure that it would be both comfortable and efficient as possible.

Despite making the most of your days here, they did not pass without difficulty. You understood Bucky’s decision to go back into the cryo until Shuri had devised a consummate plan for his treatment, but that didn’t make it any less painful to see his unconscious figure in the tube every time you entered Shuri’s lab. You wanted nothing more than to unfreeze him and immediately put your skin on his, releasing every ounce of power you had into healing him in any way that you could.

You knew that you could only do so much. Until Dr. McCloud and Shuri’s medical team effectively reversed the effects of the Winter Soldier’s trigger words, there wasn’t much you could do for him except calm him down in case anything got to be too much for him.

After making your way down to the expansive laboratory, you were greeted by Shuri again, and who you assumed to be Dr. McCloud.

The woman, who appeared to be in her fifties and had a long, silver braid extending down her back, reached out her hand to you as you approached.

You accepted it, gaining a general sense of warmth and comfort from her touch.

“I’m Dr. McCloud, but you can call me Lucy. I’m so glad you’re here." she said, smiling widely. “It’s wonderful that Mr. Barnes will have a friend during this time.”

You didn’t bother to explain that you barely knew Bucky, but instead returned the smile and shook her hand, asking what the first step would be.

“Once we wake him and allow him some time to adjust, we will begin his treatment by doing an MRI and mapping his brain activity in response to some basic questions. We will be focusing mainly on the temporal lobe, since it’s primary functions relate to memory and language. Once I gain a better understanding of what he has been through, there is a chance he will have to undergo surgery to essentially rewire those parts of his brain in which the trigger words stem. It will take some time, but I am confident that when this is over, Mr. Barnes will be able to have a normal, healthy life.”

You exhaled slowly, taking it in, knowing that this was only the beginning.

“Well, let’s wake him then, shall we? I think he’s spent enough time being frozen for several lifetimes," you turned to where he was lying unconscious in the transparent tube, noticing that all of his wounds from the fight with Tony had healed. Well, except for the missing limb..

Shuri stepped forward to the control panel of the cryogenic chamber, stopping before turning to face you.

“Miss. Y/N, perhaps it is best for Dr. McCloud and I to leave the room for the time being. It is important for Mr. Barnes to not become overwhelmed upon waking. He knows you better than he knows either of us.”

You thought for a moment, remembering how Bucky had already been put back in the cryo when you had decided to stay. He wasn’t even aware you would be here, and he hardly knew you. But on the other hand, you secretly hoped that a moment alone would present you with another opportunity to offer him a comforting touch.

You gave her a tight lipped smile and nodded, agreeing. She pressed a few buttons on the machine in front of her, and then quickly exited the room with the doctor, leaving you to watch as the chamber began to open slowly.

You stepped back, crossing your arms and bracing yourself for Bucky to wake.

10, 15, 30, 45 seconds passed and you were beginning to worry, when Bucky’s blue eyes finally flew open as he let out a sharpe intake of breath and stumbled out of the chamber and onto the metal flooring.

You froze, not wanting to alarm him with your presence and also trying to process the feelings of fear that had suddenly radiated from his body into yours. He cautiously looked up and took in his surroundings, his eyes landing on you before standing up.

“Bucky-“ You began in a soft voice.

“What year is it?” he interrupted you.

You had to refrain the urge to giggle.

“2075," you shrugged. “You’re now well over 150 years old, and I, well I look really damn good for my age,” His face contorted into an appalled mask of confusion and you couldn’t hold back a snort.

“I’m kidding, James. You were only under for a little over a week. It is still 2016. We didn’t keep you asleep for any longer than necessary," you gave him a genuine smile and his face softened.

“Is Steve here?”

“No, but now that you’re awake, I’m sure it will only be a matter of time before he comes to visit. How are you feeling?” you asked tenderly, stepping forward slowly. He seemed to gravitate towards you as he copied your motions.

“I’m.. “ he shook his head, not seeming to know how to process his thoughts. Without thinking, you closed the remaining distance between the two of you and took his flesh hand (his only hand, at the moment), in both of yours and released a sense of peace and security through him.

“Shuri has been working hard to devise a treatment plan for you. There’s a neurosurgeon here from London to oversee your treatment. She’s one of the best doctors in the world. She is confident that with time and effort, they will be able to completely reverse the effects that Hydra has instilled in your mind,” your eyes bore into his as you implored him to believe that there was hope for him. “Recovery won’t come without a lot of time and effort, but we are not going to give up, Bucky.”

A feeling overcame him that you couldn’t quite decipher. Unworthiness, maybe?

He hesitated before speaking, not wanting his words to come across as ungrateful or accusatory.

“And why are you here?” his voice was soft, an almost embarrassed whisper.

His hand still being wrapped in your own, you gave it a comforting squeeze and sent a feeling of assurance through him.

“So that I can do this," you shrugged as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He still felt apprehensive, but didn’t question it further for fear you would think he wasn’t glad, relieved, you were there.

While talking Bucky through what would be the first steps in his recovery process, you kept your hands on his so that you could judge his true reactions to it all. He immediately agreed, though you could feel his fear and sensed that he was only so eager to say yes because of how calm you were making him feel. But beneath all of that, you could also feel that even if you weren’t touching him, he would still say yes, because for some reason the man blindly trusted you.


End file.
